Do I have to be ripped to be a hunk?

"DO I HAVE TO BE RIPPED TO BE A HUNK?"

A funny thing happened at the bookstore the other day... I was on one side of the store and had to go through the women's section to get to the music section. Holy Saint iPod! There was a whole aisle of books just for women! The men's section? "Oh, just a few books here and there", said the manager. As much as I may like to think its because women have so many more issues than men, I know better. We just dont bother to figure out how to be a man. "You just gotta know" as my paternal Grandfather used to say.

True manhood as God sees it is the most misunderstood and underrated feat in our culture today - and the bookstore proves it. Recently, I learned this old Jewish prayer that goes; "God, today I thank you that Im a man and not a woman". While Im definitely not a chauvinist and support women's equality in our culture, I think a little "Huahhh" now and then is just the shot in the arm Christian guys need in this overly unisexed culture.

True manhood is under attack in the western hemisphere. The watchwords of the feminist movement are empowerment, freedom and individuality. But anyone whos spent time in Abbas House sees right through their Jezzabelic haze. Basically, they want the abolishment of gender differences. Pardon me while I take a short guffaw... Good luck. Im tired of hearing their meaningless rhetoric and think its time for a few good men and women to stand up and prove their hypothesis wrong.

A few years ago I wrote a full piece on the traits of healthy manhood for a friend. It was long, had a lot of "Huahhh" in it and made you feel pretty bummed. I've since come to see that true manhood doesnt have much to do with machismo at all; it's really depth of character and prowess that counts. See, manhood is more than just being a male. Manhood is a fraternity open only to those whos hearts have been fired by adversity and are still standing. To really understand this phenomenon, you have to break it down in to plain aphorisms.

The five ingredients that we need to become Gods men are in order:

Conviction
Legitimacy
Autonomy
Liability
Prowess

Conviction:

The basic ingredient of an individual is conviction. It defines who you are and for what you stand. Another word that could describe it is boundaries. To become a whole person we must have a defining factor in our lives that sets us apart from the rest of humanity, something we can believe in and die for.

Legitimacy:

I've mused over this one quite a bit. It really has to do with genuineness. It also has to do with us living in the function in which we were created to live. It has no bearing whatsoever in how you were conceived. God expects different things from men than He does from women. Both roles are equally important in His eyes and each have a part to play in this film called life. If you happen to be living outside of the role God intended, He cannot bless you with the contentedness and peace that comes with this legitimacy.

Autonomy:

This has more to do with individualization than self sufficiency. What I'm trying to get across is the fact that you cant depend on what others say, do or insinuate to guide your life. You have to have the resources to make your own decisions in order to be autonomous.

Liability:

While it might seem that this is the opposite of autonomy, it is in truth complimentary. You cant have only one of these traits and be a healthy individual; you must have both. Liability in the insurance world basically means that an insurer or person assumes responsibility for accidents. It infers the willingness to cover for others shortcomings, no matter how you disagree. This is especially deficient in a large part of western society. We want all the perks of being an alpha male, but are unwilling to bear the scruples of the weak because they detract from our bigheaded persona.

Prowess:

Sometimes, when its rainy outside and I have nothing else to do, I meditate on humanity. I like to discover analogies that exist between heaven and earth and apply them to my existence. One day I was thinking about African Lions, how the oldest or most mature male lions are the ones that have the largest prides. The younger ones that dare to challenge these hardened old warriors pay dearly for their timorous performance. Is it the same with humans? In a way perhaps You dont have to fight in any way to prove your prowess, but there is a strange sense of satisfaction that sweeps over me when I conquer something or someone that I perceive as a challenge to my well being. So often in the Christian world men feel emasculated by the so called godly trait of turning the other cheek. What I'm finding out though, is that it takes more guts to give grace to shrill, supercilious jerks when everything in me is screaming Fight! Fight! Fight! than responding in the typical male fashion. Every male needs some sort of battle to fight and win, but if he has no prowess on which to stand, what does he have left? (An interesting thought here: could this be the ever elusive missing factor in the equation: Conversation + Chocolate + ? = what women want?)


These five intrinsic values above set a man apart from boys and pretenders. And pretenders are just that: they tend to think that being a real stud has to do with hyper-aggression, when in truth it's just a cover up for immaturity, fear and insecurity.

Conversely, with honest male maturity comes a seventh sense, I call it "Hurkin Acumen". It makes others feel comfortable around you and gives the wherewithal to plot your course in life; without it you are adrift and tend to follow every finicky worldly current.

True manhood is something thats grown inwardly, manifested outwardly and reflected by womanhood.

So the questions are: What traits define a man? Do you have to be ripped to be a hunk? What are some things that weaken manhood in our culture?

I am a part time artist. My music, photos, films and writings consume a good part of my life, so consequently I hobnob with a number of fellow artisans. What a bunch of melancholies! Moodiness, frivolity and astounding creativity flow richly through their veins. The sad thing is that many of them are shunned by the Christian church; one reason being that some of the male artists are labeled either as too effeminate for comfort or not choleric enough. The burning question in the churchs mind is often: a"t what point do you draw the line between simply arty and abnormal tendencies?" I say simply look for the five traits. If they are ALL present, then all should be well. If there are grey areas, then there could be a quandary that needs healing.

That said; Im going to lay into every male that reads this, including this one. Its time we stand up and be counted as a real man and nothing less. We need to stop simulating adulation to every fad and get a backbone. A man has to be worth his salt, end of story. But please dont think that performance is the way to manhood. All these things come from being honest, theres no way that you can fake a bunch of experiences to speed up the process. Its alright if you are not an alpha male, you dont have to be one at all. All you have to do is realize that manhood is not an art, its an identity. There is a place of validity for you in this world and you dont need to create your own new movement to find that niche.

This really is all about living in your real identity! The Creator had you in His mind's eye when He struck the foundation of the world; he knew you as who you really are, not by what feelings youd have. When we try to be someone other than His blueprint which is clearly laid out in His Word, theres no end to the problems. Manhood is not something that can be bought or imitated; its something that must be slowly grown into, step by protracted step.

And no, being ripped doesnt make you any more of a hunk than being a scrambled egg makes you a hot chick.

(c) 2006

Ravings on Domicile

I was pondering the other day on the subject of domicile. As I allowed my mind to explore the many double meanings contained in humanity's need for physical shelter, I came across some interesting Kingdom principles. One of our most basic needs is for shelter, and if that need is not met, we either lose some of our personhood or a bit of sanity. Most of us have a special place to call home, mine happens to be an 8 X 15 submarine-like quarters in an RV/Cargo trailer, yours is probably some form of permanent or semi permanent structure. We make this place our abode from which we base our entire lives.

I know some people who have lovely homes, ornately designed and richly appointed with the best money can buy. Yet, some of them are hardly ever there. They flit from one social function to the next, fly from one business meeting to the next or are just too busy to do anything at all but sleep there. They sorrowfully mourn lost opportunities for relationship that they bypassed in their quest for fulfillment. They are homeless within a house.

David on the other hand, can pack all he owns on his bicycle trailer, lives wherever he can find a place to park and erect his tent and is as at home in a posh hotel as he is beside the railroad tracks. He never complains about his lot in life, its all an adventure that must be lived as close as possible to the action, according to his philosophy anyway. He likes people, but isn't enamored by them. However, many a widow, poverty stricken family and helpless old men owe there very contentment to his existence. See, he is at home wherever he goes and is not burdened by our smug ideas of what life is supposed to be like. He can walk into a situation and see clearly the solution without having to filter it through a performance orientated lens. He is at home without a house.

What I see here is that things are the same in the Spirit. Weve been given so many things by our Heavenly Father, things we havent even dreamed of yet and still we never use them. I sometimes find that Im still trying to prove Im worthy to obtain what I already possess! I was homeless in my Fathers house until recently. A new consciousness of sonship has descended on this man and he's reveling in this newfound inventiveness of rest. Its really cool to be able to look at life from inside Abba's house rather than the butlers shack out back!

My friend, there is treasure between your ears; there is a pot of gold under your own bed! Our inheritance has been given to us to use as we see fit, we have only to step up to the plate and swing the bat.